Category Archives: Mediation

Sour grapes – blame-shifting folklore

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This article (below) is an interesting take on a classic fable, one of Aesop’s. Like the fable The Ant and the Grasshopper, The Fox & the Grapes [1] is part of the moral fabric of the American psyche (and elsewhere).

The oft-quoted moral of the fable is: There are many who pretend to despise and belittle that which is beyond their reach. The sour grape effect has become synonymous with being dismissive and disparaging about goals we’ve failed to achieve.

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Our longest saga – the evolution of humanity

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Pondering the big picture, what has changed in the last 100 years or so …

This article (republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license) is a useful recap of our understanding of human evolution, and an excellent visualization of that story, including salient talking points.

The millions-of-years history of our rise as a species is a fascinating story of patient pursuit of knowledge. A pursuit all too often underfunded and under-resourced, starting with singular archeological discoveries and growing into multidisciplinary collaboration. That joint research expanded the outlines of our story from bones & stones to geographic and climatic events, to genetic (DNA) arcs, and to social and cultural changes.

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Puritan praise & pride – a legacy of conflated piety

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[Draft 11-7-2024]

We supposedly live in a secular society. And yet, sacred speech dominates our polarized politics. The righteous mind is alive and well. Private & public piety pervades our identities, our virtues and values. Dogma still divides. History has lessons which remain unheeded. Social media (and money) amplify an illusion of majority voice. We drift into a divide over the future of our democracy. The role of reason is in retreat.

Can heads, hearts, and hands find common ground to move forward?

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‘Politics is about sacredness’ – overlapping moral orbits

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Fables were part of the moral fabric when I was growing up. Perhaps yours as well. Especially some of Aesop’s Fables. (Yet, I was suprised that this was not the case for many of my middle school students, when a public school teacher.)

There’s one fable, in particular, which social psychologist Jonathan Haidt discussed in a 2012 interview (noted below) about his latest book (at that time): Aesop’s The Ant and the Grasshopper.

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Happiness pension plan – a pillared formula?

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This article (below) discusses happiness as a direction, and the elements of that state of mind. And, yes, there’s a science of happiness. And a “happiness pension plan.”

Yet, in such direction, recall our mantra:

What’s the good news about habits? They’re hard to break.
What’s the bad news about habits? They’re hard to break.

There’s also a question of social engineering. Can “villains” (and their minions) be happy? – Tick off Brooks’ elements of happiness. Might autocrats exploit Brooks’ formula?

No yellow-brick-road, eh.

• Big Think > “There is a formula for happiness — but it’s highly misunderstood” by Arthur C. Brooks [note his Wiki bibliography] (7′ video with transcript) – “Happiness is NOT about feelings.”

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Algorithmic demagoguery – Monsters from the Id redux

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A delirious, inexhaustible, social fountain of information … what could go …

A new book (below) reminded me of the sci-fi classic 1956 movie Forbidden Planet, and how an extinct godlike race fell prey to the ultimate persuasive technology (“unaffected by intelligence, ethics, or morality”). There was not even time for an apology by the Krell entrepreneurs, eh.

Hopefully, moderation will prevail. And there’ll be collective action to tame the demons unleashed by social algorithms.

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Make 1 new friend a year?

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Here’s some advice on building the sense of being connected socially.

• Washington Post > Advice > “Making new friends can be hard. Here are 5 ways to make 1 friend a year.” by Emma Nadler, psychotherapist and author (June 23, 2024) – Align with your interests; give attention; show care to others and yourself; take healthy risks; and seek a fresh perspective.

There are many people longing for closer relationships. A 2022 and 2023 Gallup survey found that less than half of U.S. adults reported feeling “very” connected to others.

Here are five ways to begin a new friendship. They are informed by my perspective as a practicing psychotherapist for over 15 years and my experiences as a caregiver who has struggled with seasons of isolation. What I have learned is that friendships are ever-changing, complex and worth the effort they require.

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Seeing ourselves beyond simplified scripts

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So, simplified strategies help us cope with emotional & mental burdens, like too many choices. This article discusses cognitive shortcuts in a similar context: “Our minds are naturally inclined to use simplified strategies to conserve mental energy and reduce cognitive load.”

Although “self-talk is what separates us from other species,” there’s a negative edge. It reveals early stories (scripts) which simplified framing ourselves and the world. Such simplifications (or partial perceptions) can bias our outlook, stand in the way of healthy outcomes.

How do we find the energy and support to reframe those beliefs (“reparent your inner child”)? To overcome fears? To realize “more balanced and realistic self-talk?” And to nurture positive relationships?

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Holding the middle – gerbil lessons

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Over the years, when there’s been conflict between groups – like what’s been in the news lately, I’ve thought of a lesson from watching pet gerbils. About what sparks conflict in situations where both sides avow nonviolence. And when, in fact, there’s been peaceful coexistence.

“Factions appear to coalesce around the opinions of the most forceful members …” – Crowds, Cults, and Extremes in Invisible Rulers: The People Who Turn Lies into Reality by Renee DiResta
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if choice = freedom, are > choices always better?

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I remember reading the book Small Is Beautiful in grad school. About rethinking “when enough is enough.” Does more = happiness? Does “choice” = “freedom?” Is “more, more, more” sustainable?

Freedom of choice can be a luxury, especially when so many people around the world have few choices in navigating life.

And then there’re the more prosaic decisions or choices. Like what to eat, as in ordering from an expansive restaurant menu. Or pondering all the different salad dressings in a grocery store aisle.

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