Category Archives: Mediation

Make 1 new friend a year?

Mediation, Musings, ,

Here’s some advice on building the sense of being connected socially.

• Washington Post > Advice > “Making new friends can be hard. Here are 5 ways to make 1 friend a year.” by Emma Nadler, psychotherapist and author (June 23, 2024) – Align with your interests; give attention; show care to others and yourself; take healthy risks; and seek a fresh perspective.

There are many people longing for closer relationships. A 2022 and 2023 Gallup survey found that less than half of U.S. adults reported feeling “very” connected to others.

Here are five ways to begin a new friendship. They are informed by my perspective as a practicing psychotherapist for over 15 years and my experiences as a caregiver who has struggled with seasons of isolation. What I have learned is that friendships are ever-changing, complex and worth the effort they require.

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Seeing ourselves beyond simplified scripts

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So, simplified strategies help us cope with emotional & mental burdens, like too many choices. This article discusses cognitive shortcuts in a similar context: “Our minds are naturally inclined to use simplified strategies to conserve mental energy and reduce cognitive load.”

Although “self-talk is what separates us from other species,” there’s a negative edge. It reveals early stories (scripts) which simplified framing ourselves and the world. Such simplifications (or partial perceptions) can bias our outlook, stand in the way of healthy outcomes.

How do we find the energy and support to reframe those beliefs (“reparent your inner child”)? To overcome fears? To realize “more balanced and realistic self-talk?” And to nurture positive relationships?

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Holding the middle – gerbil lessons

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Over the years, when there’s been conflict between groups – like what’s been in the news lately, I’ve thought of a lesson from watching pet gerbils. About what sparks conflict in situations where both sides avow nonviolence. And when, in fact, there’s been peaceful coexistence.

“Factions appear to coalesce around the opinions of the most forceful members …” – Crowds, Cults, and Extremes in Invisible Rulers: The People Who Turn Lies into Reality by Renee DiResta
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if choice = freedom, are > choices always better?

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I remember reading the book Small Is Beautiful in grad school. About rethinking “when enough is enough.” Does more = happiness? Does “choice” = “freedom?” Is “more, more, more” sustainable?

Freedom of choice can be a luxury, especially when so many people around the world have few choices in navigating life.

And then there’re the more prosaic decisions or choices. Like what to eat, as in ordering from an expansive restaurant menu. Or pondering all the different salad dressings in a grocery store aisle.

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Beacons & broken souls – the challenge of modernity

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There’s something about beacons (and lighthouses) – guides in the void.

I regularly chat with an aspiring screenwriter about writing stories, narrative arcs, TV streaming series & films, … So, recently the ‘Beacon 23’ series returned to MGM+ for a second season. I watched the first season on Amazon Prime.

• Space.com > “‘Beacon 23′ series returns to MGM+ on April 7 with glowing blue rocks and alien artifacts” – Season one was short on action but loaded with compelling personalities whose shifting alliances and motivations made for some intriguing confrontations. [1]

That got me musing about “broken souls” and contours of conflict.

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the social media problem – 230 bloody hands

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So, the recent congressional hearing Big Tech and the Online Child Sexual Exploitation Crisis reminded me of social media’s ongoing saga of good, bad & ugly – both its direct impact and parallel political drama. Perhaps there’s a path forward with collaborative bills, updates to Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, …

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more anger does not equal a vision

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“Sometimes being angry is easier than facing the truth.” – AppleTV+ Foundation S2E6

“Enraged & engaged.” Is it all just about anger and money (power)?

This year (2024) I’ve already got unsolicited (and somewhat puzzling) emails from novice political candidates in other, far away states. Likely cranked out by the tens of thousands from compiled, commercial mailing lists. The contents always have a dire tone.

The latest one used the political trope of “I’m a fighter,” as if any other advocacy is a cop-out. As if everything’s a smackdown. As if political worthiness is only gauged as a warrior (in a righteous cause).

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‘Good’ thinking is hard work – intellectual traits

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I had an interesting chat last week with a member at my health club. Not just about sports. At one point, we agreed that not knowing what we don’t know is an issue. He said, “I can tell that you’re a thinker.” [2] Is that unusual?

So, this recent article (below) caught my attention.

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building attitudinal acceptance – personal testimonials

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“i pray in a different language now.” – AppleTV+ Foundation S1E2

In today’s milieu of polarization, is there any path to acceptance of attitudes between different groups on controversial topics? And decisions and behaviors related to health? Particularly “when logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead.”

• phys.org > “Study shows testimonials can open acceptance to differing opinions on controversial topics” by University of Kansas (October 11, 2023) – Movies and larger productions have long known the influence of an engaging story on audiences.

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The overview effect

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Floating in darkness
Floating in darkness

Can space travel – at least orbiting the Earth – cause cognitive shifts? Really be transformative – have lasting impact? [1]

Generally, studies note variability in the experience. And not all astronauts experience the overview effect.

(Wiki) Author [“space philosopher”] Frank White, who in the 1980s coined the term overview effect after interviewing many astronauts, …

Yaden et al. observed that cultural differences, including differences in religious and social identity, affect the ways in which the effect is experienced and interpreted. Expressions range from the religious, to the “vaguely spiritual”, to the naturalistic, to calls to social duty.

Wiki even notes that there’s some research on whether immersive virtual reality simulations might “induce the overview effect in earthbound participants.”

This Big Think article is a personal perspective by astronaut Ron Garan.

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